I was recycling the newspapers yesterday. While doing this, I came across a small piece in my local newspaper which mentioned that a fifth Rambo movie is due to go into production later this year.
'Ahh,' I thought to myself. 'An opportunity to once again write about the Rambo Headf**k.'
It's something that has bothered me ever since I had the Rambo III poster on my bedroom wall when I was a child.
Get ready for a trip.
We first met John Rambo in the 1982 movie, First Blood.
We next come across the character in its 1985 sequel. It's titled Rambo: First Blood Part II.
Another easy one.
Then things become confusing.
The third installment, released in 1988, is titled Rambo III.
No. Longer. Easy.
How the hell is it Rambo III when the first movie isn't called Rambo? The second movie - First Blood Part II - is called Rambo. Shouldn't the third film have been named 'Rambo II: First Blood Part III'?
It made no sense back when it first came out. It still doesn't.
To be fair - time hasn't been kind to Rambo III anyway. The biggest problem is the fact that Rambo helps the Mujahideen in the story and - at the end - the film was dedicated to the fighters. The tribute was edited out post 9/11.
Anyway, back on track. If nine-year-old me thought naming the third First Blood movie Rambo III was dumb, can you imagine my reaction to the release of the fourth edition in 2008?
It was simply called Rambo.
Only it isn't THAT simple, is it!?
First Blood II was already titled Rambo!!
Are we supposed to forget that First Blood II exists? If any Rambo film has to be forgotten, it's the third.
I have no idea what they're going to title the fifth movie. It should be First Blood V, but I know it won't be as they obviously want to have the 'Rambo' name in it.
It would be silly to follow the 2008 movie and name it Rambo II because - well - Rambo III is really Rambo II.
This post could go on and on, but I'll finish with what the title should really be.
Rambo IV: First Blood Part V!