Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Adventures Of Bullshitman

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Bullshitman.

I was laying down watching television yesterday night when both telephone lines in my house started ringing. I figured that it was a call centre trying to solicit a sale so answered my phone line and left someone else in the house to answer the main one.

I was right, it was an Indian call centre.

The caller asked who I was and I abruptly cut him off asking him 'what do you want to sell me?' I have had enough of these cold calls. The most recent ones are calls telling you they work for Windows and inform you that you have a virus on your computer and ask you to go onto a website, whilst still being on the phone with them, and they will 'help you clear it'. I was guessing this was where the conversation was leading but his response was 'I have a way to help you stop people calling your home when you don't want them to.'

Oh, the irony.

'Ah, like what you're doing to me now?' I asked.

And then he hit me with the line of the night.

'You are a bullshitman.'

Laughing and unsure whether I had heard him correctly, I asked him to repeat himself. He obliged.

He then went on to expand on his two earlier insults and call me a 'F**king bullshitman'. I wasn't offended in the slightest, I thought it was funny.

I told him I was going to leave him on hold and put the receiver to the side of the phone hoping he was going to be unable to cancel the call. I went away for a few minutes, returned but the guy had gone.

I don't know what he was trying to sell me but he gave me some free laughs.

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