It's 8:30pm on Saturday evening as I am typing this. Downstairs, in the living room, is The X Factor and I've missed it even though I haven't 'missed' it.
When I was leafing and scrolling through the TV guides this past week, X Factor would appear and I'd think 'Nah, not this year'.
I have always hated the full series.
I only watch the audition stages and then I hibernate for the rest of the autumn Saturday evenings with two - or three - NCAA college football games to keep me warm.
As the season doesn't kick-off for another fortnight, I could have caught two episodes but I don't need to.
I know what happened.
Show starts.
Helicopters.
Learjets.
Buses.
City scene with fast moving traffic.
Crowds yelling.
Sob Story.
Good act.
Bad acts.
Dressing room scene with the judges.
Subplot between judges.
Interview with potential good act.
Turns out they are dreadful.
Scene of empty room which was once full of auditionees.
Oh look - there is one person left.
He or she is amazing.
They also have a sob story.
Show ends.
Oh, and don't forget to see the stuff that was too rubbish to air on ITV1 now over on ITV2.
Before you switch over, wanna waste a pound sending a text to win a prize?
See, I didn't miss it at all, did I?
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