Amazon's Worst Purchases

I had an idea for today's blog but I changed my mind as I was logging in.

You see, it's the tenth anniversary of Amazon this week. Well - I am guessing it is as there has been banners up on their site every time I have been on there this week trying to figure out why I spent a little under a fiver on the worst earphones ever.

I thought to myself, 'wouldn't it be a good idea if I looked back at my entire order history and picked out some of the things I ordered and write about what they remind me of?'

But then it dawned on me.

Nobody wants to know what sentimental value certain purchases mean for me. Instead, I am going to find the worst and try and explain why I bought what I did.

It starts with the very first item I ever bought online.

Chyna's Autobiography (ordered 15/6/00)

I can't even bear to search for this on my bookcase just to give you its proper title. When I first bought my PC back in 2000, I signed up with Tiny as my ISP. They gave me a free Amazon voucher so I went onto the site looking to buy a book.
I must have typed in 'WWE'..
Stop.
I must have typed in 'WWF' and Chyna's book popped up. I preordered it there and then. I made this order on June 15th and it didn't get to me until February 19th 2001. Little did I know that at the time of ordering I would get the book four days before I would become an uncle for the first time.

Now That's What I Call Music 1994 (ordered 4/1/01)

This is a good album. The problem, however, was when I opened the parcel. It had 'Now 1986' or something. I phoned up the customer services, explained the problem and they told me to send the item back. I asked for their address and she said, 'just put amazon.co.uk on the parcel and it will get to us.'
'Are you kidding?' Was my response. I knew what was coming next.
And I was right - I had a hard time trying to explain to the woman in the post office that this was the address I was told to send the item to. It worked, though.

Beverly Hills Cop I & II VHS (ordered 5/5/02)

I bought this for someone from work who was going away for the Summer. I didn't see her again! I often wonder whether she remembers me as 'that sad git who bought her a double bill of Eddie Murphy movies'.

And that's it, really. There's nothing else in my history that I can pick out and laugh at myself for buying. There's a lot of books, CDs and DVDs on the list that make me smile when I see them on the screen.

This smile turns to a frown, however, when I see those white earphones before me.