And I couldn't give a good reason why I hadn't.
After a very short search online to see if it was streaming anywhere (I checked out Amazon Prime Video first and it was there!), I decided that the twenty-nine year wait would end. We were going to watch the Mario Bros. movie on Easter Sunday.
Oh. My. God.
It was bad.
I can tell you this for starters - if the teenage version of me watched that film, I would have hated it. This isn't a case of a mature version of me hating on it. I genuinely cannot see how my younger self would have enjoyed the movie.
At that point in my life, I had been a fan of the Super Mario games for possibly three or four years. I would have known a fair bit about the games and felt that the story I was being told on screen was a long way off from what Nintendo would have liked.
It just came across as a film cashing in on the popularity of the video game.
After watching the movie, I read a little bit about its reception. I found it quite funny to read how Bob Hoskins - who played Mario - was still explaining to people in interviews how he regretted signing up for the film many years after he made it. Other sources I read pointed to Hoskins and his on-screen brother - John Leguizamo - drowning their sorrows in-between takes.
Dennis Hopper - who played the movie's villain; King Koopa - also noted that he was initially meant to film for five weeks. Those five weeks turned into seventeen. Scripts were changed constantly. Even during the filming process.
By the way, in the video game, King Koopa is like a giant turtle-dinosaur thing. In the movie, Hopper didn't dress up.
The more I watched it, the more I thought that maybe I had watched Super Mario Bros. back when it first came out but my brain had simply forced me to forget about its existence.
I genuinely cannot figure out why I didn't bother watching it in 1993. I would have remembered if I had, wouldn't I?