How To Become A Winner, A Loser And A Winner Again In 63 Steps

Step 1 - Find a radio station that you listen to regularly.

Step 2 - Be awake late one night and hear one of the radio shows on this station, offer a place in a prize draw to win $500. You only have to join via Facebook or by email.

Step 3 - Seeing as you don't use Facebook, enter by email.

Step 4 - Receive an email from one of the hosts telling you that you're in the drawing. He'll also wish you luck.

Step 5 - Seeing as you didn't stay awake to hear the drawing take place. Listen to the show the following morning.

Step 6 - Be thankful that you didn't stay awake the night before. The drawing was delayed by a day.

Step 7 - Listen to the replay of the show the following day. Wait until the end and listen to the draw.

Step 8 - You've won $500! I bet you are pleased but - going on past history - remember how you have been let down in the past. Decide to wait until the prize is in your hand before you celebrate.

Step 9 - Email the host after he asks you to contact you on air.

Step 10 - Receive a reply asking for your postal address in order for the cheque to be sent to you.

Step 11 - Reply with your address.

Step 12 - Hear your name and home mentioned in the radio as the 'Lucky Winner'. Remember the rule of Step 8.No celebrating until it's yours.

Step 13 - Celebrate your win by buying a Blackberry PlayBook tablet.

Step 14 - It's only £199. You may as well.

Step 15 - Damn, why didn't you follow the end sentence of Step 8?

Step 16 - It's been a week since you won. It should be here soon. Keep an eye on the post.

Step 17 - And more post.

Step 18 - It's been two weeks now. You really should email the host of the show who had contacted you naming you the winner.

Step 19 - Realise that the host who had emailed you is no longer working on the show. 

Step 20 - You'll figure this out when the email is bounced back to your inbox.

Step 21 - Find the website has changed URL and contact the other host.

Step 22 - Get a response apologising for the delay and thanking you for your patience.

Step 23 - Why didn't he ask for your mailing address again?

Step 24 - Good question.

Step 25 - Keep an eye out for the postman every single day. 

Step 26 - It's been a month since the win and two weeks since you last heard anything from the host. It's time to go corporate.

Step 27 - Write an email to the man who created the station.

Step 28 - His email inbox is full so you won't be getting anywhere there.

Step 29 - Write a letter to the man who created the station.

Step 30 - And they say that email is the way forward in contrast to snail mail.

Step 31 - No response from the boss. Did the letter get lost in the post?

Step 32  - There is nothing else you can do. Give it up.

Step 33 - You ain't a quitter, fool.

Step 34 - Google the co-host who had departed the show and find a website that seems to be his. 

Step 35 - Send an email and tell him what has happened and whether he could be of any assistance.

Step 36 - Receive an email from the website owner. It's not who you thought it was. It's his son! You're told the father left the show a number of weeks ago. The son wishes you luck in your quest to claim your prize but adds that he thinks I am dealing with 'shady people'.

Step 37 - The son hasn't seen the people you used to see on a daily basis.

Step 38 - Decide it's time to give the host another try. Send him an email informing him that it's nearing the sixth week of wait.

Step 39 - Get the reply you didn't want to read.

Step 40 - The sponsors have decided you aren't a winner because you didn't enter via Facebook.

Step 41 - Hey, they also told you to email in!

Step 42 - The host tells you he has integrity and will honour the prize. All you have to do is wait a few weeks more. Oh, and he asks for your address again.

Step 43 - Do you wait?

Step 44 - You may as well send the address. 

Step 45 - It's last chance saloon. You email another presenter on the station who you have been in email communication with for many years. You ask if there is any chance he could pass on your information to the owner of the station.

Step 46 - Yes, the owner you had written a letter to a few weeks ago.

Step 47 - You get a quick reply from the presenter. He has passed your email on to the president.

Step 48 - Not Obama.

Step 49 - You send a 'thank you' for the help.

Step 50 - The network president emails you back informing you that he is of the understanding that the show host is going to honour it.

Step 51 - You wake up early the following morning and write an email to the president. All that is in the back of your mind is the 2Pac song 'Letter to the President'.

Step 52 - The president contacts you again and asks you to keep him informed of the developments if I haven't received payment within a week.

Step 53 - Wait a week and email the president again. You were told a 'couple of weeks' so explain that you haven't received the payment in a week but weren't expecting it just yet.

Step 54 - Keep an ear out for the postman for another week.

Step 55 - Receive an email from the radio show asking if you have a PayPal account and whether it was set up for the email you had used to contact them with.

Step 56 - Reply telling them that is correct.

Step 57 - Wake up at a ridiculous time and check your phone for email. There it is. A PayPal mail informing you that you have $500 in your account.

Step 58 - £310.86 in GBP.

Step 59 - You're a winner! Contact all the people you have dealt with and thank them.

Step 60 - Receive an email back from the president.

Step 61 - The following day, receive an email from the owner you had written the letter to. He'll note how glad he is that everything worked out for you and inform you that it was the network president who deserves the credit for ensuring you got what you won.

Step 62 - Reply to the owner.

Step 63 - Sit back and count yourself lucky that you only won one prize in 2011. And be even more thankful that you decided to give up the competition a day challenge for 2012!